Brett - Man in the Street

I met Brett last summer on a hike. He was very newly single and, wisely realized he was not ready to date. I told him about some very helpful Divorce Recovery seminars that I'd been through myself. Brett not only went through the seminars, but also became my running buddy. We recently completed the Phoenix Rock'n'Roll half marathon and have become good friends and flirt buddies.

Overall: Brett (who I kiddingly call Boy Toy since he's still under 40..though, just barely) is a great combination of flirty, "life of the party" and traditional romantic. His tattoos, sculpted body, and willingness to be up for anything give him that touch of "bad boy" that will be enough to make most women take notice. But don't mistake my 'bad boy' label as rude...he is always respectful and kind. Add to that, the fact that he can listen and open up about his feelings...a trait that is rare amongst the male species...and he can almost be assured of attracting any woman he's interested in.

Personality: Outgoing, friendly, flirtatious, fun. Laughs freely and often. Finds the good in people. Positive and optimistic. He takes risks and tries new things. I call him my "Just Do It!" friend.

How He Treats Women: Treats women respectfully, with old-fashioned chivalry...opens doors, insists on paying for dates that he initiates, but not looking for someone that will be dependent on him. Likes a woman to take initiative sometimes.

Best Physical Feature: Calves! The biggest muscles I've ever seen!

Biggest Obstacle to Dating: Newly single, he's not sure what he's looking for. The flirty fun side doesn't mind getting a lot of attention from a lot of women. But he also wants to be in a committed relationship with someone he loves. His flirtatiousness and willingness to open up might cause some women to think he's interested in more than a friendship when he's not. He's sure to innocently break more than a few hearts now that he's out in the playing field, though he would never purposely hurt anyone. And, he may be still a little vulnerable to a broken heart himself.

What I Like Best: His big heart. He loves people deeply...his kids, his family, his friends. He finds the good in everyone.

In Brett's Words: I’m single for the first time in a long time and honestly looking forward to meeting, getting to know and possibly dating a lot of women. I’m not saying that I’m planning on sleeping around because I’m not, but I do want to get to know a lot of women. I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for in a partner right now, but I am hoping to figure it out along the way. Does that sound bad or is honestly really the best policy?

Michael - Man in the Street

Michael is the first victim of my "Man on the Street" interviews--where we hear about the male perspective on love and relationships. Michael qualifies because he's an over-40, good-looking, single guy. I have to 'fess up though...He's a good friend, not really a "man on the street". We originally met on one of my earlier match.com stints over 2 years ago and dated briefly. We were both still pining over previous relationships at the time (and to some extent are still talking about those same relationships now!) Though, we didn't end up in much of a romantic relationship ourselves, we did become great friends. We have a standing coffee date every Friday morning during which we spend at least an hour discussing everything from our latest parental challenges to our philosophies on love and life.

Because I have spent so many Friday mornings with Michael, there was no need for me to have a "formal interview", but I had one anyway, mainly for the practice. Now I've lost my notes, but, that's OK. I'll just write what I want and I'll let him edit it (he used to be a Literature Professor or something at CU Boulder so he will undoubtedly think this whole blog is a piece of crap, which, of course, it is, but still...)

Here's a summary of MY impressions of Michael:

Most attractive physical characteristic: His blue eyes

Personality: Optimistic, romantic, caring father, intelligent, witty, sometimes silly, outgoing

Where he hangs out: "Flatirons Social Club"...this is what he calls his group of friends that listen to the summer bands that play at Flatirons Mall on Thursday nights. He also likes to go to Sports bars with friends or listen to Roger Clyne in concert.

Favorite Exotic Place to Go: Puerto Penasco because no one knows about it, and he drives across the Sonoran desert from Arizona to get there.

How he most likes to meet potential dates: In a Natural setting (ie. "Woman on the Street")...Not through Match.com (though I must interject here that he at least met ONE great person through match...that would be me.)

What has been his biggest obstacle to dating: Being a full-time father of 4. Now that his youngest is almost 14 and his oldest two children are out of the house, he feels he will have more freedom to pursue relationships.

Something sexy about his past: He used to be part of a rock band

His feelings on relationships and love: Michael often talks about "not settling". He is looking for the "real deal" and does not get into a romantic relationship lightly. He has high standards but is confident that he'll find the mix of physical, intellectual, and spiritual chemistry in a woman when the time is right.

Things I appreciate about him: His ability and willingness to communicate, especially about relationships. His love of his children. The way he listens and gives his honest opinions. The way he helps my family cut down a Christmas Tree every year. His friendship.

Michael's own words about love: “I am looking for someone who understands the difference between trust and negligence, someone who does not mistake trust for negligence. I am looking for someone who does not believe that physical beauty is a reason to ignore her mind.”